Well I was finally so bored that I bothered to watch the pacifier. I acquired this movie from my aunty who when burning it forgot to cut out all the advertisements and warnings you can't skip. If I were Justin i'd rate it 10/10 because i'm justin.
I knew it was going to be bad the moment i saw the words Disney Entertainment but I couldn't imagine just how bad it would turn out. For any of you sissys who are seriously contemplating watching this movie i'm going to spoil the damn simple plot for you all during this rant so go have a cry or something.
This movie is about a navy seal named Shane Wolf (Played by Vin Diesel) and starts off reasonably good. There is a boat transporting a hostage (The professor) which gets attacked from underwater by these navy seals. An underwater attack seems somewhat logical (If you take into account that there would be no chance of using Sonar to pick them up or just looking into the completely clear water).
However, being a disney movie as soon as they initiate a fight it switches to the point of view of another character and then the terrorists are mysteriously tied up or thrown overboard (Because it's impossible to climb back onto a boat). Anyway they get the professor off the boat and Shane Wolf (Diesel) is at the rescue chopper when the professor asks if he can call his family. Being the good guy that he is Shane lets the professor make the call and goes intot he chopper. Suprise, the pilot is dead so Shane quickly gets out of the chopper and then witnesses the professors death.
Now for some reason it jumps forward a couple years and he is given an assignment to guard the professors family(The Plummers) from terrorists and at the same time look for the weapon that the professor was working on.
Being a disney movie as well as protecting the kids Shane's going to have to give them some nice lessons about life and compeltely change their behavioural patterns. Since he is in the NAVY this should be no problem. He wakes them all up at 6 AM and makes them all do chores and work hard and shit that nobody really gives a damn but it's a good way to fill 15 minutes of bad film up.
The teenage boy in the family (Don't remember his name) is really into acting but he hasn't told anyone and is doing it after school. He is doing the sound of music and has some nazi outfit and the teachers and shit think he is a nazi. Anyway throughout the course of the movie oyu see this unfold as the acting coach gets angry at them all and then quits. However Shane (vinny) somehow takes over the acting class even though he only saw the play once when he was young and has no professional training whatsoever.
He also has problems with the wrestling teacher at his school because he is weak or something so at the end of the movie Shane decides to pwn him with one hand. At the very end of the movie you see him quit the Navy and join up as the wrestling teacher at the school. Kinda strange if you ask me because pro-wrestling, being a teacher and the Navy should really have nothing to do with each other. I find it halarious the amount of jobs this guy can pickup with no professional training whatsoever and not get into serious trouble with the government.
The little girl inthe family (Don't remember her name either) is a girlscout and has boys come over and trash their cookie stand quite a lot so Shane being the responsible adult that he is rather than talking to the boys parents teaches the girls some form of martial arts in less than a week and then the next time the boys come over they pwn them in a stupidly disney fashion.
There is a really young boy in the family too (Who I dont know the name of) and Shane has to change his diapers which is supposed to be funny I guess. To me it just puts more emphasis on the whole pedophile thing I wrote about just recently. (Not saying he is a pedophile, just saying something is up with that shit in general). Anyhow this little boy won't sleep without being sung the song his dad made up for him (The Peter Panda Dance, good thing this is a Disney movie eh?)
At the end of the movie Shane gets double crossed by the most ovbious villian and then has to help him get past the security sytem in the Plummer's secret underground storage facility (That is convieniently in their very own backyard) by doing the Peter Panda dance appropriately to dodge the many traps put in place.
That's pretty much all that really happens in the movie besides one attempt on the family's household to locate the invention by a couple dudes dressed in black ninja suits (with no weapons, typical disney).
Once again since im Justin this movie gets a 10/10 but on a much more serious level it's down around the 4-6 area. Watch if you are seriously bored or want to punish/torture someone for an hour or two. Rent, don't buy.
